i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
In America we eat man semen.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
