So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If that was your dad, he is hot
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize