We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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