dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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