I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
