If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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