Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize