Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
