wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
