Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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