I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
