my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
