dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
