420 ftw
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
