Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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