i permit you to call me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
