mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
