google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
