you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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