My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize