I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
