Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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