she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
