Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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