I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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