My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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