Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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