I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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