Your favorite bartender is back from prision
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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