I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
