Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
