Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
