You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
