Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
