Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
