fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
