I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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