god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
