The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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