i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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