I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am spending my child support on dildos
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
