it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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