Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
