Your face is a jimmy john
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize