It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
