why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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