Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
