White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
