this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
