Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
