the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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