Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
