Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
