areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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