He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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