so explain again why im purple
no
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
