So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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