Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
