Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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