Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
