She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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