Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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