Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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