I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
