I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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